I am She

I am She that is the equalizer. I am She that rights imbalance. I am She that is here to eradicate you parasites of your planet. You with no natural predators to balance your heard. You with such unbridled arrogance. You and your wonderful blood. You, I will thin out. You will be sorry you did not do it yourselves. I am Mayhem unleashed; prepare for ME as best you see fit. I, your population controller, will contact you shortly for your life. Night night, sleep well, and watch out for shadows.

Your worldwide pest controller,

D

Bob

Bob rides his purple retro-cruiser bicycle through the urban jungle in his finest silk loin cloth. With a machete in one hand, an iPhone tucked into his waistband, and listening to piano concertos by Vivaldi. He goes searching for fun and relaxation.

Blondes in SUVs

I am surrounded again. I cannot take. Not one minute more. 65 miles per hour, trapped by 4 of them, all white. Two Suburbans, one Escalade, and an Expedition; all of the drivers blonde, all on their cell phones, all swerving in and out of their lane. To make it even worse it appears they are psychically linked to slow down and speed up at the same pace. I reach into the passenger seat and dig under my new iPad and retrieve from my bag the remote detonator I rigged to my gas tank--enhanced with10 pounds of homemade dynamite--last night. I give a sad smile to the little girl in the child seat in the vehicle next to me, hoping we all find a better life in the hereafter, and push the button.